All The Stuff You Can Know About Me

Your Knowledge of Me Right Now = Very Little

Your Knowledge Of Me After Reading This Page = Pretty much the same

TheRealMusician Recommends:

If you want to take marketing your music to another level, then I can't recommend enough John Oszajca's music marketing manifesto. My favorite aspect of his complete program was his stance on email marketing, where he really leverages the that "1000 true fans" philosophy.

His website is a bit hokey (Flaming guitars? Seriously?), but his program really shows independant artists how to get a leg-up on signed artists.

My name is Andrew Muller, I'm the owner/operator/pole dancer/seismographer/surgeon/code monkey of this website.

I do lots of great things like write articles, design lessons, reviews, and pretty much most of everything you read here.

One project I'm involved in, "A Human Nothing" during a concert

Every once in a while, a visitor such as yourself decides to contribute here (which I highly recommend you do). People like you who come here and contribute to this site is something that helps to make it as great as it is.

If you've enjoyed anything you read on here, you know you are smarter now than you were before you read it (making me smarter than you were before you read what you read that made you smarter than you were before you read it).

My favorite color is green.

But not that lame green that older couples who only have a single child would use (With ugly flower wallpaper on the top half of the wall).

I'm talking about some nice, warm, vibrant greens. Like the ones found on this nice little image of a planet pooping into itself.

Also, I'm allergic to pretty much everything on the planet. I'm talking about some major crazy allergies, like Milk, Sugar, Corn, Apples, Oranges, and Beef.

I have about 24 other allergies (not including the ones above), so needless to say I eat so healthy that the yoga instructor that you like but don't have the guts to ask out is jealous of my great diet.

But I'll tell you, if I wasn't allergic I would definitely eat so much crap you have no idea.

In fact, the reason I can't have sugar is likely closely related with the time I ate 14 massive-theater-sized packages of Mike and Ikes (Easily the best candy your grandparents never had) all in the course of about 5 days.

In fact, I got so addicted to the stuff I ate it in my sleep. My brother was getting married in Arizona, and I would keep the packs on the dresser next to my bed in the motel. My hand consistently would just grab the treats, and I would wake up in the middle of the night with candy already in my mouth.

Needless to say, if you don't want to become as sick as me, don't eat that much sugar.

Music? Maybe We Should Talk About Music?

Oh yeah, so this is a music website about teaching people who to develop their music careers. It's possible I could tell you about how I am somehow qualified to tell you all the things I tell you about music.

Well guess what, I'm not qualified at all. I don't have a degree in music, and I don't work for a record label. I didn't study BS subjects in school to make myself seem like I know what I'm talking about.

But I'll tell you what I do have...

...I actually play music.

That's right! Is that shocking or what? I feel that it's a musician who is qualified to teach other musicians, just as the carpenter can teach his apprentice.

I look like a dungus.

In case I didn't let you know already, I play the Guitar, Drums, and Piano. I sing in my band as well as play the Lead/Only guitar; and I plan on learning some wind instruments very soon (starting with the trombone, sax, or bass clarinet).

Why the bass clarinet?

Two words, Jaga Jazzist

Did you hear that incredible Clarinet riff about 2 minutes in? That's the "Rage Against The Machine" riff for clarinet.

Other Stuff I Like

Of course, I'm slightly more diverse than just a musician. I'm also well known for such philosophical endeavors as...

...playing video games!

Here are a bunch of games that I love, and everyone should play:

  • Zelda: Ocarina Of Time
  • Zelda: Majora's Mask
  • Zelda: A Link To The Past
  • Chrono Trigger
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Final Fantasy X (Not X-2, that's bologna)
  • Super Mario World
  • Mario 64
  • Paper Mario
  • Donkey Kong Country (I beat this when I was 3 Years Old)
  • Donkey Kong Country 2
  • Donkey Kong Country 3
  • Half Life
  • Half Life 2
  • Half Life 2: Episode 1
  • Half Life 2: Episode 2
  • Portal
  • Team Fortress 2
  • Counterstrike
  • Sonic The Hedgehog
  • Secret Of Mana
  • Resident Evil 2
  • Resident Evil 4
  • Conkers Bad Fur Day
  • Goldeneye 007
  • Yoshi's Island
  • Halo 1
  • Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
  • Timesplitters: Future Perfect
  • Psychonauts
  • Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
  • Super Mario Brothers 3
  • Perfect Dark
  • Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance (1 and 2)
  • Shadow Of The Colossus
  • Dark Souls
  • Portal 2
  • Super Meat Boy
  • Borderlands 2

Portal 2 and it is easily one of the most creative games I've run into for a long time. What a fantastic engagement in gaming art.

Contact Information

Anyways, here's some contact information in case you ever want to contact me online, or see me on Facebook, visit my myspace, or if you are coming through Chilliwack BC, Canada (About 1 hour from Vancouver); and you are an especially cool person you might want to come and meet me in person.

Facebook:

Andrew Muller

https://www.facebook.com/ahumannothing

https://www.facebook.com/My-Goal-Is-Telepathy

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/TheRealMusician

Bandcamp:

http://ahumannothingband.bandcamp.com/

http://mygoalistelepathy.bandcamp.com/

City/Country: Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada.

New! Comments

Leave me a comment in the box below.

Learn To Build Your Band's Website

My free 48-page guide to building your band's website will take you from start-to-finish in setting up a professional website for your band. It covers:

  • choosing a web host & installing wordpress
  • choosing a theme
  • essential elements to include on your site
  • why blog, and what about
  • much more

Enter your name and email below to get this free guide today!

E-mail
First Name
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you The Real Update.

About The Writer

My name is Andrew Muller. I love creative art, music, television shows, movies, video games, and a good story.

If you had to find me somewhere, you would probably find me down at O'neils home cooking eating an organic sweet-potato bun breakfast sandwich with ham.

Among my friends, it's a "Muller Classic Move" to eat Mcdonald's at 2am because it's cheap and open 24/7. The joke here is that I'm an idiot. 

I play drums, guitar, piano, and I write & perform music for My Goal Is Telepathy. Take a listen to the latest sound here.