Hate Mail From Chuck Norris

  • First Name: Carlos
  • Last Name: Ray
  • E-mail Address: ----------@live.net
  • Country: United States
  • What's on your mind?:

TheRealMusician Recommends:

If you want to take marketing your music to another level, then I can't recommend enough John Oszajca's music marketing manifesto. My favorite aspect of his complete program was his stance on email marketing, where he really leverages the that "1000 true fans" philosophy.

His website is a bit hokey (Flaming guitars? Seriously?), but his program really shows independant artists how to get a leg-up on signed artists.

listen here you montebank, i propose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will. if i have 5 dollars and you have 5 dollars i still have more money than you, While Urinating i am easily capible of welding titanium, for some people the left testicle is larger than the right, for me each one is larger than the other. I have the greatest Poker-Face of all time. i won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. I dont stub my toes. I accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks, who am i ???

A riddle! This one is perhaps the most confusing riddle I have ever heard.

At first I thought you were to be Chuck Norris, the greatest man who ever lived (tied with Will Smith). But as I read further I am to think that you are this guy:

Find out who and why I think it is you at ":50" of the Video

As you can see, I thought you were Sean Connery.

As I delved further into your riddle, I realized that you instead must be Tom McEvoy. I mean, who else won the 1983 World Series of Poker?

At first I was stumped as to who you were. I know it is impossible to be more than one person, and these people are too famous to have some sort of Multiple personality disorder and not have the general public know about. But I did figure out who you were. It came to me in a dream, and I realized that you must be....

Scott Bakula from the Science fiction series Quantum Leap.

In the series, Dr. Sam Beckett (Scott) screws up one of his experiments, and proceeds to get lost in time, and space. During the show he takes over other peoples bodies for a certain period of time, fixes the mistakes that the person made, and then leaves to have another happy time fixing someone else's problems.

It is obvious that you must be Dr. Sam Beckett. I must say that I was very surprised to come to this conclusion, and the fact that a time and space traveler has taken the time to contact me and call me a "montebank" is simply awesome.

So I did answer your riddle, now here is my riddle.

The Ants go Marching 2 by 2.

Lancaster dunes

Andrew Muller

New! Comments

Leave me a comment in the box below.

Learn To Build Your Band's Website

My free 48-page guide to building your band's website will take you from start-to-finish in setting up a professional website for your band. It covers:

  • choosing a web host & installing wordpress
  • choosing a theme
  • essential elements to include on your site
  • why blog, and what about
  • much more

Enter your name and email below to get this free guide today!

First Name

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you The Real Update.

About The Writer

My name is Andrew Muller. I love creative art, music, television shows, movies, video games, and a good story.

If you had to find me somewhere, you would probably find me down at O'neils home cooking eating an organic sweet-potato bun breakfast sandwich with ham.

Among my friends, it's a "Muller Classic Move" to eat Mcdonald's at 2am because it's cheap and open 24/7. The joke here is that I'm an idiot. 

I play drums, guitar, piano, and I write & perform music for My Goal Is Telepathy. Take a listen to the latest sound here.