My Very First Hate Mail, From Elton John

To clear things up for the uneducated-on-this-matter, "Reginald Kenneth Dwight" is the real name of the famous singer/musician Elton John.

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First Name: Reginald Kenneth Dwight
E-mail Address:
Country: United Kingdom
What's on your mind?:

i was just wondering why you havent done any reviews on my music ?? also i was wondering why your so gay

Well, the thing is Elton, wait is it alright if I call you Elton? I'll say Mr. John to be polite. The thing is, although I do enjoy many of your hits, they just don't tickle my music bone like they should. In fact they don't even tickle my normal bone.

Although your advances are flattering, and I am aware of your sexual orientation, I can assure you that I am not interested in a relationship with you. I understand that sometimes it is embarrassing to ask someone if they are interested in a homosexual relationship, but for future reference, it would be appreciated if you were to ask me straight out rather than beating around the bush and saying such things as "also i was wondering why your so gay".

Also I was wondering if next time you could supply the name that everyone knows you from. I know its tough to ask seeing as though you already have to see that name all the time when you are up on stage, but the way you went about it, using Reginald instead of Elton, it was almost as if you were trying to trick me!

As well, I am curious as you why you were at such a small site here in the first place, as I know you are a busy guy. But I won't dwell on that, in fact I am honored that you came at all!

All said and done, I thank you for taking notice in my humble website, and I hope to see you around here again soon.

Andrew Muller

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About The Writer

My name is Andrew Muller. I love creative art, music, television shows, movies, video games, and a good story.

If you had to find me somewhere, you would probably find me down at O'neils home cooking eating an organic sweet-potato bun breakfast sandwich with ham.

Among my friends, it's a "Muller Classic Move" to eat Mcdonald's at 2am because it's cheap and open 24/7. The joke here is that I'm an idiot. 

I play drums, guitar, piano, and I write & perform music for My Goal Is Telepathy. Take a listen to the latest sound here.