How Can You Support This Site?

Now this site is completely free for anyone to use, and there are no membership fee's or anything like that. Although it's great that you get all this wonderful information for free, it is a good reason for you to help support this site.

If only this is the attitude I received for support...

No matter how great or small, or no matter what form it takes (You can mail me takeout Chinese food if you like!), your support enables me to continue serving musicians and 'good' music lovers across the world. (And some of these won't cost you a penny!)

Here's how you can support this site...

Do you already buy any of your music from Amazon or iTunes?

If you use any of the following links to buy tunes, I will receive a small percentage of anything you buy via these links.

But don't worry, it will cost you nothing!

This 'small percentage' comes out of the store’s pocket, not yours — the music won’t cost you a penny more.

In fact, one of the easiest ways to support this site is to buy anything from iTunes or Amazon (just make sure you use the Amazon or iTunes search box below):

I work hundreds and hundreds of hours to put this site together for you, so buying your tunes (or anything) from these links is really the easiest and most effective way for you to support the growth of this site.

This, in turn, allows me to spend more time doing research and finding new, unique artists for you to listen to; researching new ways to advertise your band, and about a million other things that benefit you as a musician!

And I can't be anything but incredibly appreciative of that.

Now I know it's especially lame to ask for donations on a site, but I figure I should at least give you the option!

So if you use the donate button below, you can be assured that you'll be helping me out a lot, and here's an advanced thank you!

As well, if you make any donation larger than $5 and 'forward' me the receipt, I'll send you a free copy of the "Deloused In The Comatorium Song Translation Guide". I normally sell it for around $10 on the site, so you'll be getting a deal simply because you are soooo nice ;)

If you have no idea what the "Deloused In The Comatorium Song Translation Guide" is, then don't worry; instead I will compensate you by praising your good nature, and will copy and paste a compliment from "The Power Of Compliments" into my return email (The least I can do is thank you!).

If for some reason you don't receive a hilarious compliment back from me, simply Contact Me Here and let me know that you donated to me (And what your name is). I'll be sure to make your day!

Here is the chart for the types of things I will do or say about you! Each dollar amount has a corresponding reaction and comment.

• $0.01 = I will write an angry emailing criticizing your character and telling you that you are cheap.
• $1.00 = I will say "Thanks...for paying for my low-end chocolate bar..."
• $5.00 = I will copy and paste a compliment from "The Power Of Compliments" and insert your name into it
• $10.00 = I will tell you that you are a really nice person. The compliment will cease there.
• $25.00 = "That's quite an awesome contribution" you will hear me say. Not only will I email you back, but I will even post a video to your Facebook wall telling everyone about how amazing and rich I think you are.

  Of course, you'll need to add me as your friend in order for me to post to your wall...I mean...you get to be my friend on Facebook as well!

• $50.00 = I will host a YouTube video of my praising you for your efforts. The video will appear on My Blog. If you have a band, you can request that I mention your band in the video, heck, I'll even post your bands music video underneath (Or a link to your music).

  At this point, you have officially made me your advertising slave, and I will advertise whatever you like (As long as it's music related, and not garbage!)

• $100.00 = At this point, if you email me your biography, I will re-write it in funny satirical speak; making fun of (Or praising) all of your life efforts. Along with this, I will do a spoken reading of your Biography, and will post it in a video that will be hosted along with your biography on this site.

  At this point in our relationship, you are also allowed to address me by the nicknames "Poncho", "Fortnight", and "Ramrod".

• $250.00 = I will write, record, produce, and master a song for you. The lyrics may be deep, or they might be hilarious. They might also be not-understandable, but I promise to include your full name in there at least once (And more than once if your full name is hilarious).

  You will receive the song within a month (Hopefully sooner, but I have to write all this stuff you know!).

• $500.00 + The cost of a plane ticket = I will fly out to visit you and we can chill for a week. I make about $500 a week at my job, which is why I would need to get this much to cover the time off of work.

  For the week, I will hang out with you, listen to tunes, and talk about anything you want to talk about. You will need to chat with me on the phone or Skype first, because I actually don't want to be raped and killed because of some weirdo online. I have the right to refuse (And refund) you if I get even the SLIGHTEST inclination that you will rape and kill me, so that's my disclaimer.

  While I'm hanging out with you, I will write music with (or for) you if you want. If you have a band or anything like that, I'll critique you, and give you pointers on how to improve your performance or anything like that.

  Pretty much, you'll have the best damn week of your life.

  The week will be 5 days long, as I'll need padding at the beginning of the week, and at the end of the week for flights.

  As weird as this one sounds, I'm actually not kidding. If anyone goes through with this, I will seriously follow through. Although I should mention that I'm only comfortable traveling through Canada, US, and UK. I might consider somewhere like Japan, but that crap is terrifying, so I'm not really sure if I'd want to.

  Also, you should probably feed me as I get grumpy when my stomach feels like it's melting.

• $500+ = We'll talk about it! But if you're going to be paying that much, we might have to just throw you a parade or something!

I'll be coming up with new ways for you to support my site in the future. I'm currently planning on hiring myself out as well for organizing Facebook Advertising campaigns, and pretty much everything else that I write about on this site.

For inquiries about hiring me, and for pricing, you can Contact Me Here.

New! Comments